The Toys R Us kid

 I think my search for my inner child started over a week ago when I decided to go climbing trees.  I can't tell you the last time I climbed trees.  It's been YEARS.  I would say I stopped climbing trees when I was 11..maybe even younger (I can't really remember).  Okay...maybe there was once when I was 21.  But that was definitely the last time.  And I don't know if I can count that time, because I don't think I was even able to climb it.  So I'm going to stick with 11.  Last week, however, I did some major climbing.  I got like 10 feet off of the ground and it was awesome.  I know that may not seem like much...but it's all about baby steps, right?! After all, I'm attempting to not go into extreme behaviors.  Okay...maybe that's a lie..maybe that's what I consider extreme considering the fact that I'm afraid of heights.  But that's minor details.  In any case, it was great fun climbing and was even more great fun hanging upside down.  I made sure I was hanging to the point where my hands could touch the ground so that I wouldn't fall and break my neck.  Little did I know I almost broke my leg when it got caught in between the large branches.  Although I took numerous photos of the battle scar, I erased them because I thought my calf looked fat...sad I know.  However, I let go of my ego and judgements today and took the following picture of the battle scar- Keep in mind that this is one week post injury.

Yesterday, was another great day for embracing my inner child. I got to hang out with one of my friends whom I haven't seen in many years.  It was kind of a spur of the moment meet up. I ended up having a interview way down in South Jersey in Avalon, (near Cape May) for a live-in weekend position. (The furthest south I've been was Atlantic City; Avalon is about 50 minutes south of AC and 2.5 hrs from my house).  So, I went to the interview for a position of taking care of a disabled man.   (Prayers would be appreciated that this works out).

After the interview, I ended up visiting my friend in Atlantic City and we went to the zoo, which was a total delight and I felt like a kid. I had no idea that a free zoo existed in NJ.  Actually, I didn't think there was much in NJ, but yesterday I was proven wrong.  Maybe this state isn't as bad as I thought it was or how I've made it out to be.  Yesterday, my hatred for this state subsided and I was able to show more compassion to it and appreciate it more.

At the zoo we got to see numerous animals, which is no surprise b/c that's what you get to see in any zoo.  One creature we got to see included cockatiels.  (Jk..my friend was trying to impress me with his knowledge of the animals, and labeled one a cockatiel, which of course wasn't the right name; and right now I can't remember the name, but it was quite hilarious in any case). The zoo was actually really beautiful and clean.  So if you are ever in South Jersey, visit the Cape May zoo!


When we were kicked out of the zoo..due to closing time.. we approached the playground area and my eyes lit up.  I had to go on the swing.  Whenever I pass playgrounds, it is a must I go on the swing.  I'll push kids out of the way just to get my chance to go on one.  Okay..maybe I wouldn't push them out of the way, but I'd totally do a stare down!  Okay..maybe I wouldn't do that either.

I went on the swing and then my friend started pushing me on it.  It was hilarious. A lady even came up to us and asked us if we wanted out picture taken..we were that cool! After I had my fun on the swing, my friend went on the swing and I pushed him.  And then it happened...two swings on the opposite side opened up...so we raced over and had a race against who could swing the highest.  I obviously won both challenges!

After the zoo, we decided to go to Wildwood, as I never been and we weren't that far away from it.  While at Wildwood, my friend took out 20 dollars worth of quarters and we went... to the arcade! Oh yeah!! There was a Deal/No deal game, which I had no idea what it was about because I never watched the show.  (Turns out after I was done playing, I only got 1 ticket...I think my friend was to blame as he was the one telling me to press the deal or no deal button.  It wasn't until after playing that I got what it was all about).  My friend played after and he got 250 TICKETS! Cheater!  So after he won, he decided to give the tickets to a kid. I suggested we give it to the saddest kid there, and right after saying so, a kid crying was just about to pass us. I stopped the mother and we gave her the tickets.  It didn't seem to phase the kid at all.  So I told my friend..next time lets give it to the happiest kid who will be more appreciative.

One of the next games we played was air hockey! I set my blanket and sweater (as it was so cold outside) on the side of the table.  As we were nearing towards the end...my friend noticed that my blanket and sweater got sucked in the goal area.  I have no idea how long it was blocking 1/2 of the goal. I think it just happened....but in any case I won!!

Overall, it was just an awesome day! It has been a long time since I laughed, felt happiness, peace and was able to stay in the moment.  I wasn't lost in my world.  If anything I was found, especially when hugs were involved.  It's funny to me how often I'm told by people that they easily get lost in my hugs.  The most ironic thing about all of this is while others are getting lost, I am being found.

So overall, it's been a great week of finding my inner child and allowing her to come out and play.  I realized through all of this, I never want to grow up.  I never did.  I remember seeing commercials for "Toys R Us" when I was younger and singing the song: "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R Us kid.  There's a million toys at Toys 'R Us that I can play with.  From bikes to trains to video games at the biggest toy store there is.  I don't wanna grow up cause if I did, I couldn't be a Toys 'R Us kid." Although I was never really a "Toys 'R Us" kid since most of our toys were hand me downs from family friends, I recall singing this over and over and telling myself at five years of age that I'm never going to grow up.  So even though I'm growing older physically/on the outside, I made another promise to myself last night that I will never grow older on the inside. Been there, done that. It is much more fun being a kid!


Thank you for reading.